I recently started working Cerra™, an inspiring new website that’s helping busy women embrace personal awareness, act with thoughtful intention, and reflect on our experiences, thus leading to a happier and more balanced life. Their organizational philosophy is rooted in what they call the Seven Intentions— Creative Energy, Gratitude, Courage, Wisdom, Loving Kindness, Grounded and Inspiration. Thus their prescription says that living with these Seven Intentions produces balance and well-being.

I admit… not all of Cerra’s Seven Intentions resonated with me. Not at first…

”Loving Kindness doesn’t mean anything to me,” I promptly announced to my team at BlogFrog. And I meant it. Bitterly. It seemed as vague and intangible as a bumper sticker. But everyone else seemed to really GET IT. Nodding their heads, yesssss. How profound, how meaningful, they said. And since I don’t like to be left out of the loop… I’ve been thinking about it. A lot. Everyday actually.

I began to notice how Loving Kindness was present in my behavior, in my experiences, in my life. And I realized, it’s all over the place. Both in what I contribute to the world, but also in what I choose to exclude from the world…

Sure there are those moments of positive feedback: teammate has bad day, teammate receives random gift card for a pedicure. Boyfriend breaks ear-buds, new ear-buds magically appear on kitchen table with sticky note: I love you. Friend has interview, friend sees encouraging text message first thing in the AM. I think human beings are good at positive feedback— fundamentally, we understand how to help eachother smile. 

But what about preventing a frown, a tear, or a bust up in anger? The truth is, my greater contribution to my relationships is knowing when to refrain.

I have a friend who is getting married soon. And I think she is a mistake by choosing that guy as her life partner. He is not the sort of person I would want for her. And she knows— I’ve expressed my concerns. She knows. And even though there is a part of me that wants to (leap leap, me, me, meeeee!) when the pastor says, “Does anyone here have any objections…?” I won’t. This is my gift.

My gift is to let her make her own decisions. This is my act of Loving Kindness.

More than what I give or add, for me, Loving Kindness means not blaming someone else for my pain, a violation of my beliefs, a pinch, a button push. Sure I can share my feelings with them… but I can not expect that they are going to take responsibility, or change in any way to accommodate my sensitivities. This realization has helped me push through, smooth over, and release many tense situations. So thank you, Cerra. In Jodi world, it turns out Loving Kindness is not just another bumper sticker.