Clutching my final glass of Cab Sauv at the Blending Cellar last night, I leaned over and whispered to James Dean, ”You can change the world.” He looked at me, pulled his head back to gain FOCUS, furrowed his eyebrows. “Why did you just say that…?” I paused. Um, this is was not the reaction I was anticipating. I said it because I believe it. I believe in him. I believe that HE IS GIFTED. And it’s not because I love him. There are just some people in this world that CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT TO DO, AND KILL IT. JD IS one of those people. He cannot help himself.

I felt a little unsettled by my (gulp, gulp) “Oh my god, I so believe in you and love you and want to you succeed and know you have my support no matter what,” WORD-UP-CHUCK. And his not-so-MOVED response. Then it occurred to me… maybe he doesn’t want to change the world…?

The truth of the matter is, I do. Yeah, I’M ONE OF THOSE. Always just assumed I would, actually. It’s now a question of IN WHAT WAY and TO WHAT DEGREE. My fundamental motivation, in essence, is my belief that I CAN and should make a difference in the world—FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS. I am motivated by GIVING, contributing, facilitating change, evolution, betterment. I honestly don’t care about much else. Sure, sure, I like STUFF. So I need money and all. But honestly (put down that bullshit flag, I seeeeee youuuu), I just want to change the world. That’s all.

This idea of CAN and SHOULD, I believe, is the direct byproduct of my rents drilling into my head every day of my young life (well, Mom actually told me this on the phone, ummm, yesterday) that I can do anything I want. I bought what they were selling, ignored the now obvious nepotism, and as (an aspiring) adult, MY MOTIVATIONAL FIRE BURNS WITH CAN AND SHOULD DO COLORS.

This is the MANTRA of our generation, the twenty-somethings. I hear, “I just want to BELIEVE in what I do.” Believe that it will make a difference. Believe that it will create a legacy we can be proud of. Believe that we can sleep easily, with contentedness, for a JOB WELL DONE. Believe that we have have fulfilled our dharma, our predetermined purpose. Pat, pat on the back, kiddo. WE DID IT, together.

At first glance, this desire seems grand. Selfless, big picture, loving, PERFECTO. But uncovered, there are some thorny details. 1) There is an unavoidable opportunity cost when caring for the world is one’s first concern. What about ourselves? How many hours of sleep will we sacrifice? Mental well-being? Physical health? What about family? Will our children be neglected? Sister, brother, life partner? Will our community be a side note? Will starving kids in Cambodia matter more than the homeless families on SE 14^th? 2) Can= should. And the possibility of disappointment/performance anxiety runs hot and heavy. Too often we (I am including me in this “we”, by the way), stand still… afraid not that we will fail… but that what we succeed in WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH. Won’t mean enough. Won’t, by comparison, create enough splash. And THAT will become our personal brand. JOE BLOW: Rockstar of mediocrity.

I wonder what it would be like if the formula for success in our generation was more simple, fewer variables, fewer options, fewer opportunities, smaller pool, smaller potential splash, or disappointing ripple. I wonder if we would ATTEMPT more? Not necessarily jump farther, but jump, nonetheless, sans self-loathing or peer judgment. I wonder if taking care of the smallest world first—ourselves—then our genetic world—our family—then our proximal world—our community—would INCREASE the chance of LONG-TERM success?

Or should we continue to skip all that JAZZZZZ and unabashedly go for the global gold?