I am grateful.

I just celebrated my 27th birthday. And now I’m suddenly close to the female version of immediate, necessary DEATH- 30 years old- and I have mixed feelings. Planned by nature, proactive, controlled, this is not where I thought I would be at my age. IN CONTROL ended up slapping me in the face (the whore), and telling me to get a fucking life, in Boulder of all places. So here I am… without the dude I thought I was going to marry, without the wedding I thought I’d be planning, without the career I killed myself in grad school to stab, and take to the canvas. BUT WITH a whole lotta everything rich, and magical, and not worth living withoutssssss.

I have friends who would lay down, naked, on traintracks for me and who prove it, everyday, in spontaneous acts of kindness.

I have a career that is growing, and challenging, and pays me enough to live comfortably, with a little extra somethin, somthin, for a pint or two of well-crafted bevvys from sticky note worthy, local venues. Oh and I get to work from home/coffee shops, so that’s the shit.

I have discovered several amazing dudes (and several not so amazing dudes), who would love nothing more than to make me their world. Who knew I was such a catch? I mean, silly I know, but if someone(s) like THAT wants someone like ME, than that must mean I am deserving. So cool. I can dig it.

I experience miracles every week, sometimes every day. And I throw my head up to the sky, let my heart swell, and feel gratitude FLOWING UNABASHEDLY.

I eat and drink like a queen, and take adventures, and look forward to every morning, and every ray of skin soothing, mind expanding, lucky-I-am inducing sunlight.

Last year I DIED. But I am now happy to have been reborn, or to discover that I am once again LIVING. And living well.

I am grateful.